


Polaris

by Jaimeapollo (ohbacchus)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M, Post-Canon, Road Trips, They just travel and talk about their feelings a lot, also there are flashbacks, thats it thats the fic, vldse2018
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 12:53:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14402541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohbacchus/pseuds/Jaimeapollo
Summary: VLDSE2018When Keith dreamed of going to space, he had imagined a cramped shuttle shared with two or three others, heading off to some unexplored area of their solar system. He never imagined he would be flying alien ships in the front lines of a universal war.Which they won.And so they went home.





	Polaris

**Author's Note:**

> My gift for nasigorenart on tumblr! I tried to take the songs you listed that remind you of Sheith and tried to use them for inspiration in this fic. :) 
> 
> I know the formatting is all weird right now but I promise I'll come back and fix it! I just wanted to get it up for now.

_Our capacity for love increases_

_with each person we cross paths with throughout our lives,_

_and with each moment we spend with those people._

_But, too often,_

_we neglect that part of ourselves_

_in favor of others,_

_and by the time we realize just how important it is,_

_we find ourselves with fewer folks to practice with._

i

Keith’s first memory was of watching a shuttle launch as he sat with his father on the front porch of their house. It had been a hot day, but he’d abandoned the shade to run out over the rocks and watch the shuttle disappear. With the clear blue sky, he could see it soar upwards for an eternity. His dad had told him that was the moment he had decided to become a pilot.

His dad also told Keith that he was born to do something amazing, but he hadn’t stuck around to find out so Keith never believed him. 

When he dreamed of going to space, he had imagined a cramped shuttle shared with two or three others, heading off to some unexplored area of their solar system. He never imagined he would be flying alien ships in the front lines of a universal war. 

Which they won. 

And so they went home.

Looking out at the night sky from the roof of his tiny cabin back on Earth, Keith felt trapped. He knew these stars already, he could name every constellation. He knew their stories. He was bored.

Coming back to Earth after they had won had been the next logical step. The other paladins had families, people who had missed them, people who worried about them. People who cared that they were missing. They were where they were supposed to be, with who they were supposed to be with.

Keith’s stomach growled at him, disrupting his train of thought, and he groaned, pushing himself up to his feet. Even in the dark, he knew the way down off the roof by heart, even where to place his feet in order to step over the loose shingles. He lifted his hand to trace the frame of his bike absently as he walked past. She was getting old, and she had been sitting in a bunker for almost three years as ‘evidence’, but she still ran just fine, and she was still his.

He didn’t have much in the way of food. The electricity was spotty at best, so he mostly kept non-perishables, which meant a lot of applesauce and shitty canned soup. It wasn’t ideal, but it was better than Coran’s food goo, and whatever the Blade had tried to pass off as nutrition.

The Blade was all about practicality; they ate twice a day, and just as much as they needed in order to sustain themselves. Keith didn’t mind it, he had never needed nice things to be happy, but he did come to appreciate Hunk’s cooking a lot more when he had the chance to eat it. 

He was struggling to light the stove when there was a knock on the door. To say the noise startled Keith would be an understatement. He jumped, the lighter slipped from his grasp and skittered across the floor. He mind raced, trying to figure out who it could be out there, but it came up empty. Nobody came all the way out here, especially not this late.

The small part of him that was still fighting a war reminded him that his dagger was on the table. He took two half-steps towards it before calling out, “Who is it?”

There was a moment of silence before a response; a voice that made his heart twist uncomfortably in his chest. “It’s Shiro.”

Keith found himself dashing across the room before he could stop himself, flinging the door open with such enthusiasm that he nearly hit Shiro in the face. 

Shiro stepped out of the way, looking startled for only a second before he laughed. “Easy, there.”

Keith felt all the words he wanted to say catch in his throat. _I missed you_ and _I needed you_ and _I’m so sorry_ and _Where have you been?_ All of it stuck, and the only thing he managed to get out was, “Come on in. It’ll get cold soon.”

Shiro followed Keith inside, looking around. He’d been in there three times before; once just after he had escaped back to Earth only to be whisked away again mere hours later, and twice since they had all come back as heros. Each time, Keith was suddenly made acutely aware of just how small the place was. It was more than enough for one person, but it was still modest to say the least. 

“I was just about to make dinner.” Keith heard himself saying. “It’s just canned lentil soup, but there should be enough for two if you want some.”

“I ate before coming out here. I assumed you already would have, but I guess I should’ve known better, huh?” Keith could hear the smile in Shiro’s voice, and the familiarity with which he spoke. “Some habits die hard.”

“I eat when I get hungry. It’s not my fault it’s,” Keith glanced at the clock hanging above the stove, “almost nine.”

Maybe it was a little late, but he wasn’t about to admit that.

“You mean you forget to eat and now it’s almost nine.” 

Keith looked over his shoulder at Shiro, who was leaning in the doorway, arms crossed, watching him. “Did you come out here just to lecture me about my eating habits?” 

Shiro had the decency to look at least a little sheepish at that, though they both knew he didn’t genuinely feel it. “I guess this is the part where I would apologize for bothering you so late if I didn’t know that you would be awake all night anyway.” Keith shot him another teasing glare, and Shiro laughed again. Keith loved that sound. “No, but really. I have an idea that’s kind of stupid, so I figured you would be willing to take part.”

That caught Keith’s attention. This was a Shiro he hadn’t heard in years, a Shiro who he thought had been killed to make room for The Champion. This was an echo of the Shiro he had met; so easy and carefree, a little reckless and cocksure, impulsive and lucky enough that it didn’t really matter. This was the Shiro he’d fallen in love with so long ago.

“What did you have in mind?” Keith asked, as if he would ever entertain the idea of saying no to this Shiro.

“We’re going to go on a car trip.”

“And where are we going?”

“I don’t know.”

Keith couldn’t help but laugh at that. Part of him was saying that this was a horrible idea and that he shouldn’t go. The bigger part, though, was saying that this was a bad idea and he absolutely should.

“This is stupid.” 

“I told you it was.” Shiro looked smug--at least, as smug as he was capable of. He already knew Keith would agree.

“Let me eat, first.”

Shiro grinned triumphantly, and Keith’s heart skipped several beats. Even after all these years, Keith clearly remembered the last time he’d seen that smile.

o0O0o

_“Four months isn’t that long, Shiro.”_

_The two of them were standing in the sterile halls of The Galaxy Garrison, Shiro offering out a small box. Keith was still in his same old uniform, an entirely unflattering orange, while Shiro had been given a new one. The charcoal grey brought out his eyes, making them even more distracting than before._

_“Are you saying you aren’t going to miss me?” Shiro teased. “I’m hurt.”_

_Keith rolled his eyes. “You know that’s not what I’m saying. You’re not going to be gone forever.”_

_“Just let me have this one grand gesture, alright?”_

_“One?” Keith deadpanned._

_Shiro was nothing if not grand gestures of friendship. He was the kind of person who remembered how Keith liked his coffee after hearing him order it once, and then brought him a cup every morning since. He had spent more money on Keith than he spent on himself. He had, on multiple occasions, shown up drunk at Keith’s dorm late at night just to spend hours complimenting him. He had, on one occasion, almost fought another kid for insulting Keith in front of him._

_“Just take the present.” Shiro pushed it into Keith’s hands, and there was that smile, triumphant and vibrant. It lit up the hall and Keith’s whole world._

_Keith opened the box, revealing a smooth purple stone, about the size of a quarter, inlaid with small orange gems and attached to a thin silver chain. He traced the gems with his finger, easily recognizing the pattern._

_“This is Scorpio.”_

_“I don’t think I’ve ever met anybody who more embodied their star sign than you do.” Shiro had said the same thing before, but this time he sounded almost nervous._

_“I love it.” Keith said quickly, looking back up. “Thank you, Shiro.”_

_“You’re coming to see me off tonight, right?” Their eyes met, that soft, unspoken something lingering between them as it had been for months now._

_“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Keith’s voice sounded distant, like someone else was speaking through his own mouth._

_“I’m going to miss you.” There was a raw vulnerability in Shiro’s voice now. It was heartbreaking._

_“I’m going to miss you, too.”_

o0O0o

“How long are we going to be gone?”

Keith had eaten, and was now emptying most of his bedroom into a duffle bag and a tattered backpack, which were all he had. Luckily, his bedroom didn’t consist of much. For clothing, owned five shirts and three pairs of pants, and that was more than enough for him, he just needed to know how much of it he should pack.

“I have no idea.” Shiro called back. He’d taken the couch in the other room, waiting for Keith to get everything together.

“You really didn’t plan anything, huh?” Keith decided to take it all. A few of the shirts were dirty, but if they needed to wash their clothes, they could find a way. 

There wasn’t a reply this time.

Keith managed to stuff the last few pairs of socks in the bag and peeked his head out of the door. Shiro was staring at the wall across from the couch. It was empty now, but there were still holes in the wall where Keith had stuck tacks, or places where the tape had pulled the paint away. Evidence of the worst year of their lives.

“Shiro?” 

Shiro blinked and looked up. “Sorry. I zoned out. I guess I’m pretty tired. What did you need?”

“You can stay here for the night.” Keith offered. “If you’re tired, you may as well get some rest, and we can just leave tomorrow morning.”

Shiro nodded. “That’s probably the smart thing to do.” 

Keith searched Shiro’s face for a moment, then approached him carefully. He sat down on the couch beside Shiro, still leaving a few inches of space between them.

“What?” 

Shiro frowned. “What do you mean ‘what’?”

“What’s bothering you?”

Shiro looked forward again, and Keith could see his eyes tracing the imperfections on the wall. He was silent for a long time, and for a moment Keith thought he wasn’t going to respond at all. But when he did speak, his voice was even, and he was clearly choosing his words carefully.

“I guess I’m just now realizing how much I missed you.”

Emotion welled up in Keith’s throat, though he couldn’t quite pinpoint exactly what it was he was feeling. 

“I missed you you, too.” He said softly. Then, in a moment of bravery, he added, “A lot.”

Shiro smiled, but it seemed pained. Again, he chose his words carefully. “I don’t know if I ever told you, but when I was fighting, I was never fighting for myself.” 

Both of them knew they hadn’t talked about this before. There were certain things that just went unspoken between them. That year was one of them. They had mentioned it in the past, but only when it was relevant, and never going any deeper than they needed to. Shiro had an excuse; the large holes in his memory. Keith didn’t have that, he just never wanted to talk about it. He never wanted to think about it.

Losing Shiro had been losing a part of himself.

“I was always thinking about someone else who needed me. Every time I….” Shiro’s voice shook, and he stopped. Keith wanted nothing more at that moment than to pull Shiro into a hug, to tell him it was okay and he was not what he had been forced to do to stay alive. He stayed still.

Shiro cleared his throat and tried again. “I was always thinking about someone else. Matt or Commander Holt or my mom. But mostly it was you.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “I never thanked you for that. I felt like it was, I don’t know, dirtying your memory, but now I think it was just you saving my life. Again.”

Keith’s lips parted, but no words came out. What was he supposed to say to that? What _could_ he say to that? He closed his mouth and, instead, lay a hand on Shiro’s shoulder in a gesture of quiet understanding. It said everything he couldn’t. _I’m sorry_ and _It’s not your fault_ and _As many times as it takes._

Shiro leaned into the touch, and Keith knew he understood. 

After a moment, Shiro broke the silence. “I killed the mood there, didn’t I?”

“A little.” Keith smiled slightly, his tone clearly suggesting he didn’t care. 

“I’m sorry.” Shiro shook his head. “I guess I’m just tired. We should get some sleep before we head out tomorrow.”

“It’s only ten thirty.” Keith pointed out, but he stood up. “You’re getting old.”

“You just have a weird sleep schedule.” And there was that old Shiro again, teasing Keith. “I like to actually be awake when the sun is up.”

“Boring.”

Shiro laughed again, and Keith felt a surge of inexplicable pride. “Go to bed, Keith. Or I’m going to knock you out myself.”

“It’s okay, I’ll leave you to get your beauty sleep.” Keith glanced over his shoulder one more time, smirking. “God knows you need it.”

He laughed and shut the door behind him, and he heard a dull thump as the pillow Shiro had thrown hit it.

Shiro slept on the couch that night, and suddenly Keith’s bed felt a little too big.


End file.
